Whistling Shade's

Gallery of Limericks

All families have a black sheep, and in the case of poetry it’s the limerick, that most English of verse forms. It is the only kind of poem you’re likely to hear in a bar these days, its simple verse structure and lowbrow, often profane content always a crowd pleaser. So it may come as a surprise the limerick comes to us from antiquity, and appeared in English as early as the 1600s. Poems styling themselves as "limericks" were first published in 1820, but it was the British poet Edward Lear that popularized the verse form, as a witty but clean bag of tricks. Where they got their bawdiness is unclear, but everyone has heard "There was a young man from Nantuckett"—though it seems no one has remembered any of the other lines. For the record, the Princeton Tiger published the following version in 1924:


There once was a man from Nantucket 
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket. 
But his daughter, named Nan, 
Ran away with a man 
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

For your reading pleasure, Whistling Shade presents its own small collection of modern limericks—at least the ones that can be printed!
- Joel Van Valin

New York
New York is a fabulous place
where everyone gets in your face.
English ain’t spoken
unless it is broken
and nothing is said lowercase.
- Timothy Torkildson

Dear Martha
Dear Martha is going to jail!
The thought of it makes me turn pale.
Must she so dwell
in an untidy cell
and dine upon underdone quail?
- Timothy Torkildson

Jesse at Harvard
At Harvard they haven’t a clue
what Jesse Ventura can do.
Though he is famous
I hope he won’t shame us
by acting like a loup-garou.
- Timothy Torkildson


Latest Terrorist Alert
We’ve gone to Code Orange again
and act like the little red hen
who went about bawling
"the sky is falling"
but didn’t know where or quite when.
- Timothy Torkildson

First Date
That night was a bit of a doozy—
Like Charlie Brown playing with Lucy.
"Kick it," she’d say,
Then pull the football away.
Too bad Charlie Brown’s not more choosy.
- Michael Ramberg

Possible Futures for the 
Bush Administration
After landing us in such a mire
Where will George W retire?
I suggest a long stay
In Guantanamo bay
For Bush and his cabinet of liars.
- Joel Van Valin

Tim Torkildson is a retired circus clown. He lives in Nonthaburi, Thailand, six months out of the year, teaching English at schools & businesses. He has eight children, no wife and a pet ulcer.
Michael Ramberg lives and writes in Minneapolis. More of his work can be found at www.grebmar.net.

Joel Van Valin is the publisher of Whistling Shade