On an unwelcoming, mid-winter night I made my way to the Capital View Center for one of many scheduled open houses for the F. Scott Fitzgerald Writing Academy. This is the farcical "literary" charter school opening for grades 7-12 in the fall of 2006, which is making an attempt to build its reputation on the name of one of America's most talented and beloved writers while bastardizing that very name with its existence. I was one of nine people who had come out to learn more about this venture. The other eight comprised of two teenagers and six parents, all of whom looked bewildered by the idea of it all. In just short of an hour I, along with the others, learned just what a mess this all is. But it's even more than a matter of it being a mess--as the minutes passed it became insulting. Insulting in the sense that one could present the plan for this school and expect anyone to see merit in it. Of course, there are those that will see the merit in it but those are the type of people that do not realize when they are being insulted.
First, the admission coordinators showed a film comprised of goofy skits they starred in; all that was learned from this ridiculous film was that the school does have activities and dances but they are held at other schools and that the school will boast a coffee cart. Yes, the school will have a cart with coffee on it!
After the film the room was opened to questions. Needless to say, my hand rose first to find out if they had actually sponsored a Slam event and... Why, yes, they had. They claim to have had a better time reaching the parents than their children. They believed a Slam event to be a good way to reach the youth. Their next plan was to have a Karaoke night featuring a taco bar. This is the point at which I was expected to jump up and sing the song of idiocy. Instead, my eyes glazed over and I was rendered speechless. So speechless that I was even unable to respond when they next asked us to help provide ideas for events in order to reach the youth. They had Slam, Karaoke, and taco bar--that's the extent of their ideas. Maybe this would be the way to go in the field of Special Ed but this is supposed to be the F. SCOTT FITZGERALD WRITING ACADEMY. Do I even need to ask why a school with such a prestigious name would even be thinking taco bars and Karaoke?
We learned about their ideas for teachers and guest speakers. Teachers, they were still considering. Guest speakers would include writers like Garrison Keillor.
"So you are saying that Garrison Keillor has been signed on to do this?"
"Ah... we said writers LIKE Garrison Keillor."
From this point any questions dealing with the curriculum were answered with,
"Don't know, it's our first year. We'll see what happens."
Remember, these are the people the school contracted to convince people to sign up to attend their school.
"But," they continue, "we are hoping to get each student a laptop."
The school will, of course, fulfill all the basic state requirements in math, science, etc.... Lack of space does not allow for it to occur at the school so outsourcing is required. The students will be bussed to other schools in the area for lab work and necessary classroom needs. I have to question why, if the student needs to attend classes at other schools like Roseville High, they don't just enroll in these other schools? If so many activities and classes are at other schools, well...
Ready for the great punch line in all this? Are you sitting? THE F. SCOTT FITZGERALD WRITING ACADEMY DOES NOT HAVE A LIBRARY!!!! They say they don't need one because of the wonderful public libraries the city has. This is true; the city does have a wonderful library system. However, The F. Scott Fitzgerald Writing Academy does not have a library! I guess the cart with coffee on it is intended to even things out.
Why does the school need to outsource... well... practically everything? We were next given a tour of the school. We were led into a room. Proudly they announced, "This is the school." It's a room about a third of the size of typical school gym. That's the space allotted the school. Now granted they can use of other rooms at Capital View, if needed, such as the Capital View board room, but that's when it's not being used. So essentially it's a one room schoolhouse. But, don't worry, they planned well for this. First, they're going to let the students paint the room so the students can feel like they have contributed and have a bigger stake in the room. Secondly, dividers will be put up to give the illusion that the room is several rooms. This will allow grades and classes to be divided up. I was told not to look at it as a single room but as a multi-room school. It does solve the problem of students rushing to other classes. Here all they will need to do is lean back in their chair and they'll have gone from one class to the next.
Particulars of the school aside (but, oh, I could go on), let's be honest, anyone sending their children to the F. Scott Fitzgerald Writing Academy is doing those children the greatest disservice. At the time of my visit only a few students had committed to attending the school in the fall of 2006. Linda Jones, the project planner, claims that thirty students are now signed up but admits they need about 50 to open and deadline is only about two weeks away. This may be why a job position listed for school director was said to be contingent on the school actually opening in the fall of 2006.
Parents! Wake up! I am unable to perceive a more ridiculous Minnesota folly than this ill-conceived idea for a school; and, Lord knows, Minnesota is rife with folly. Removing the literary angle from it takes away the "heart" of the school. Yet the literary angle given the school is preposterous. And to put Mr. Fitzgerald's name on it is an absolute insult to the man and his writing. I wish there was an F. Scott Fitzgerald Writing Academy that could live up to his name. This is not it.
In 1919 Scott Fitzgerald sat in the Summit Avenue house of his parents putting pen to paper to write the book that would become This Side of Paradise. He did so to fulfill his wish of being a famed writer. He did so in order to cement his future with Zelda Sayre. It was the dream and F. Scott Fitzgerald was St. Paul's beautiful dreamer. While the dream may have gone wayward, it never once sank to these depths. St. Paul does owe him proper homage but this academy is a slap in his face and nothing more than attempts to keep it from opening in its current state seem worthwhile. Linda Jones claims that the academy does not need the permission of Mr. Fitzgerald's estate to use his name. I would say that the matter here is less a question of "permission" and moreso one of respect and basic morality. Legally they may be able to use the name but unless the school is able to match the value of the name they are no better than any other bloodsucker in the literary world preying upon the earnest writer.
A true and honorable friend of mine has a fondness for saying, "Beauty is skin deep but stupid goes straight to the bone." In my head I could hear him saying it over and over as I picked up the pencil I was given at the F. Scott Fitzgerald Writing Academy to begin writing this article. Before I could get more than a few words into the process, the lead broke. Despite repeated sharpening, I could never get more than a few words before the pencil broke again. It was a cheap, poorly made pencil--how very appropriate.
© 2006 by D. Garcia Wahl.