Rain in My Childhoodby Changxin FangRain in my childhood fell, a swath of gray, drowning everything in its dusty silk. The river in Shanghai is black, carving its way to the stony sea, opaque as asphalt; we walk gingerly around the puddles. Each day: one bowl of rice, teacups of moist clay and milk. Mother tells me this is the monsoon, how yearly, heaven washes its clothes in June. Our poverty was like the rain. Like my father in the years of his exile, eating grass and leather belts; the train rushes him to the desert province, his prison, while my mother waits before the sewing machine, constant as the moon, thin and pale. I have forgotten how to speak Chinese, my voice lost among new consonants, new choices. It's been raining so long the winter streets have been swept with wet nights; I think the rain is waiting for me to remember the way chalk dust floated in a column of light in an empty classroom one September where I was left alone, my father late. Little girl, when did you last hear yourself say I belong here? When did you begin to run away? © 2006 by Changxin Fang. All rights reserved. |