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Jurors, There Is Absolutely No Smoking In This Building

by Lauren Raheja


Your being excused from one case does not indicate

a dismissal from jury duty. The narrow-leaf plantain

can be used to treat bee sting wounds.

Red leaves can indicate

a phosphorus deficiency; fish emulsion

and kelp

provide nitrogen and various nutrients

and there are no government buildings

in which smoking is permitted; the vending machine

in the South lobby

dispenses two linzer tarts

for the price of one, so consider

substituting nicotine

for high-fructose corn syrup

and berry filling

that looks and tastes like fluoride rinse.

“Everybody with Uranium

as a part of their middle name

would be your cousin,”

wrote Kurt Vonnegut. Seeds sown

directly into the ground will not be

likely to suffer from transplant shock;

comfrey can be used

to make compost tea,

which is for the plants rather than

for your own consumption. Crusts formed

as a result of the pooling of water

on top of the soil

can be broken up

with a collinear hoe. Potential jurors

are selected at random from lists

of registered voters, drivers’ license holders, income tax filers,

and recipients

of unemployment benefits. Dandelion greens

can certainly be eaten

and transplanting can be done in the rain.

In the empaneling area at 4:00,

a choreographed dance

developed in response to and for

the expression of love felt

for the propagation of photosynthesizing beings

will be performed. Leeks are part of

the allium family.